28 February 2010

Another Quickie Post

I can't wait. I have so much plan i want to do with my classmates and friends. oh God bless us so that we can make it all happen and according to plan.
And i somehow feel weird. did I change? like, seriously changed? yea and i still can't act normal like how i used to be. and I still can't do anything proper. I guess I'm just over-reacting. but it doesn't seem right. If talking or chatting feels awkward, that's weird right?
AAAAA. The real drama is just starting. I hope I can became normal again, I hope all of our plan will be succesful. amen. I don't like it, the burden hasn't left yet. it's still here, right in my heart. making me crazy

27 February 2010

A Brand New Start

The pain has gone
The burden has left
The misunderstood has cleared
The problem was solved
Everything is back like how it's used to be
I'm lovin it
I'm enjoying every second of it

WE ARE BACK, PEOPLE

with a new name that we will figured out together on Monday
with a new smile
with a new feelings and affections
with a new drama and laugh
and with a brand new start
We're the brand new Ilegall.

I'll be back with the new name
and the new pictures :)
(because the one that i used is the old one)

26 February 2010

MAD

okay I can't stand it anymore
I'm on fire!! I'm burning
I know it's nobody's fault
but I'm so pissed off!
this is crazy
why does bad things keep coming?
aaaaarrrrggghhhhhh!!!
this is nonsense
I should kick something
angry is something that I don't like
but I'm angry right now
don't ask me why
because I don't know

"Just leave me alone"

is what i wanna say

sorry people
I'm such an useless person

25 February 2010

i wish.. i think.. i'm scared

Oh, there's so many things happened in this past few days.
First, let me tell you that my boyfriend IS BACK!
here's our picture :D


and second, my Dad is back! he bought me :

A piano book

A chocolate that is simply delicious



A notebook
The brand is Samsung
and i am tottaly in love with this notebook
ohhh thank you daddy :D

and the third is a long story...
get ready for it (d'oh!)

So, this few days i always felt down and i don't know why.
it's like something's wrong and i don't know what it is.
that "something" really bother me.
and that something is BIG.
really big that it makes me scared.
Seriously, it's like i've done something really bad and nobody knows about that.
but,
that doesn't makes sense.
aaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
it's killing me (i mean, my mind) slowly.
is it about friends? best friends? love? school? family?
i wish i know :(
i don't like this
I think it's not about Love. because there's no love right now. only pain and sorrow. but if it's because friends or best friends... i just wish it's not what i think it is.
i wanted to cry badly but the tears won't drop
i want to be mad at everyone but i can't be mad
i wanted to throw everythings that is in my way, but i don't have enough strength.
i wish, everything will be better

And so, i really want to say to anyone that read this post
I am so sorry from the bottom of my heart if i've done something that hurt you guys
I'm just a normal human being. I am trying my best to be *almost* perfect. but it's as hard as someone ask you to choose whether to kill your family or your friend to survive. right?

23 February 2010

the unforgottable embarrassing moment


It actually happened to my best friend that sits next to me.
Oh God I should take a picture. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. It's too funny that I can't stop thinking about it.
She's dazing and someone (let's call him: He) is just standing beside her. Let me stressed the word that she is DAZED. And so, while she is dazing, she raise her hand, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaandddddd...
she clutch (well, not exactly clutch, but almost) his hand.
yup.
she did that.

HE IS SHOCKED, SHE IS SHOCKED. I AM SHOCKED.

well this so funny. But I gotta be careful! If she read this, then, I'm a dead person. LOL
this is such a nonsense. i mean, suddenly clutching your hand to someone's hand, is just weird. extra weird.

21 February 2010

hello!

phew, I'm sorry blog for not updating you A.S.A.P :(
I'm not sure whether it's because I miss my boyfriend or something else, I don't have any energy for this couple days -__-. all I can say is that i felt sooooooooooooo tired and I have no spirit to do anything.
oh yeah, yesterday we (me, vinca, nadia, and adel) bought an old books. it's fun how we search for a couple books that looks like interesting. Yeah, this is the books:


It's:
  • Storytime Book by Enid Blyton's
  • A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
Did I have an Economy test for tomorrow? I think so. Oh God, I really don't have any energy T_T how can I study? My mom and lil' bro is at Medan until Tuesday. and I need to take care of our house. ugh, this is bad.

19 February 2010

MY BOYFRIEND T_T (a.k.a my handphone)

TODAY SUCKS.
the only thing that makes my happy is: I have "successfully" passed the third try out.
BUT
guess what happened?

well, I'll tell you what happened.
So today I gave my phone to Alya (she's someone whom you can trust for this kind of thing) because we're going downstairs and I don't wanna leave my phone.
Well things go on normally. UNTIL i went to the bathroom and after i got back to the classroom, I noticed Alya is not there. I asked others and they said she's going to Indonesia.
I didn't realized anything.
and when we're having our enrichment class (i think 2 hours have passed) Belin wants to borrow my phone to text her mom. I searched.
AND I SEARCHED.
AND I SEARCHED.
but my phone is not there.
I panicked.
and I remembered.
It's in Alya's bag. dude, I AM SUCH A DEAD PERSON.
I called her. I REALLY HOPE SHE CAN GAVE IT BACK TO ME.
but sometimes things won't go on like how you wanted it to happened. she's already in the bus going to the airport.
oh God. i really wanted to cry when i heard it. finally all i can say is "oh okay. can you please just turn off the phone, Al? Thanks"
When is she coming back? Wednesday.
What day is it today? Friday. great. I won't see my phone for at least 110 hours.
I'M GOING CRAZY

how could i be such a fool? I know that I'm an "easy to forget things" person. but this is worst.

FYI, this is my phone:
Of course the condition is not that good. but he's my soul mate. I will miss you, love :((

16 February 2010

Quickie Post



DANG! I haven't study. I spend the last 3 or 4 hours watching 2009 Mnet Asian Music Award.
Luckily the first day of try out is Indonesian and English. I just need a good night sleep for that (phew, I think I'm a little bit too overconfident)

and what am I doing still typing in this blog?
why can't I get out from this misery (internet stuff) and go to the bright future (studying)?

I'm running out of time, yet I still didn't touch those books.
I'm running out of ideas, yet I still can't get my hands off this keyboard.

okay, seriously. I need to end this quickly or things will get worst.
I don't want my score to get down. and I don't want to disappoint my Mom and Dad.

bye, blog. MAYBE (but it's only a tiny chance) I wont update you for three days.

this things can't get out from my mind

our problems, crazy things we did, all the smile, the time we spend together.

"and your slowly shaking finger tips
show that your scared like me so
let's pretend we're alone
and I know you may be scared
and I know we're unprepared
but I don't care
"
Secondhand Serenade - Vulnerable

"Forgive them even if they are not sorry
All the vultures, bootleggers at the door waiting
With our luck here, for your own point but not another
While it leaves you trapped in another dimension"
Julian Casablancas - 11th Dimension

"What's goin' on, on the floor?
I love this record baby but I can't see straight anymore
Keep it cool, what's the name of this club?
I can't remember, but it's alright, a-alright"
Lady Gaga ft. Colby O'Donis - Just Dance


I AM IN A DESPERATE TIME TO STUDY!!

15 February 2010

it's all about the "F" word.

Haduh, jadi org ga usah keGE-ERan dong. sumpah ngeselin bgt sih.
ga tau ya hidup gw tu udah cukup susah. ga perlu ditambahin masalah lo lagi!

Dan,
hari ini ktm is my "BEST FRIEND".
udah lah dari putra penuh minta ampun. AC MATI PULAK!
Bahkan kipasan angin dr tiket gw aja udah kerasa sedingin AC.
money tinggal rm1. ga bisa beli minum soalnya buat ongkos bus.
ada bapak2 freak lg duduk disebelah gw. udah mo mati aja gw rasanya
tenggorokan lg sakit, batuk2 mulu.. oh God, help me.
untung banget my life saver (a.k.a Farah Savira) meminjamkan mp3 nya. walaupun sedikit freaky tp lumayan lah. gw bisa mati kebosenan + kehausan + kepanasan klo ga ada tu mp3.
pas nyampe gw UNTUNG banget my lovely Mom jemput. aaaaaaaaaaaaaa (love you so much Mom!)
senam udah di rekam jadi gw udah LUMAYAN santai.
TINGGAL belajar buat try out ke-3 nih.

Go Irene. Go! You need to study -___-

"Friend is someone who will stay with you no matter what happens."

14 February 2010

Guys, listen.

it's all a S-T-U-P-I-D MISUNDERSTANDING.
I've talked (actually chatted) with one of them.
and she SWEAR that they did not avoid US because they hate me.
so, I'm fine now. I trust them.

but, I want you guys to trust in them too.
so I have a plan. let's play truth or dare on 20th February 2010 after our enrichment class
prepare all questions that you wanna ask them. like, seriously, ALL OF IT.
and then, we're going to be cool right? can you guys promise that? that we're going to be cool?

today is Valentine's Day... hmm.... all of this year Valentine always mean broken heart for me.
yes, and it happens this time too.
haha. I'm fine dude. he sucks by the way. so I don't really feel sad about it.
and THEY had cheered me up :) thanks guys.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I HATE GUYS. except my best friends. and my brothers. and my father.
i don't need him.

well,


I've just heard Julian Casablancas - 11th Dimension song.
and there's a tiny part of the lyric that makes me realized what should I do

"Forgive them even if they're not sorry"

that's absolutely what I want to do right now.
no matter how many bad things they talked about me
I'll try. because I have my friends behind me and God in front of me.
the clock is ticking, can't waste anymore time

and I hope all of my friends will forgive all my selfishness in this blog.
thank you for your concern, your care, your patient, your love.
if something that i wrote here hurt you guys, I'm sorry.
trust me, I never and will never hate you guys.
that kind of thinking never even crossed my mind.
even "him" that i don't like anymore only got to "the people i don't like" list.

I NEVER HATE ANYONE.

no matter what they did to me, or what he did, or what she did, never affect me to hating them.
I'll think about the positive.


because i still have you



13 February 2010

CONGRATULATION

you have just made yourself ranked 1 in my "the people i don't like" list.
you sucks. i don't even know why i ever THINK that i like you.
how can a guy act like a girl? s-t-u-p-i-d.
i don't hate you. no. but i REALLY
REALLY REALLY don't like you.
go to hell. i don't even want to talk to you. even seeing you grossed me out.

and YOU too. you. the people i think I'm close with. i don't wanna hate you. so, I'll forgive you. but i can't promise that I will act the same like before. it's hurting me really deep down inside.

but, "you" made me smile today. you are so nice to me. and you guys cheer me up. thank you so much. and last but not least, another you. thank you thank you thank you. i don't know what else to say. i never even thought that you will sit with me. but you did. it's not that i like you. but i don't hate you. of course i don't. and you are so cute today :)

people, what i wanna say today is: never really believe in someone. you might have a lot of friend. and a people that you like. and the people that you look up to. but, only a few IS a true friend, true caring friend, true love, and a true people that you should look up to.

good luck with whatever you did today :D

09 February 2010

noo :(

he forgot.
well it's not like i'm somebody who's so important to him that he will remember.
but, still.. after what happen yesterday.. it's kinda sad.

i need to stop waiting for him. and i need to forget it. maybe he just giving me a bullshit hope. he will never like me, dude.


T_T

08 February 2010

OMG.

Oh my fellow blogger, today on my way back home i really feel furious with that girl. and i'm jealous. and i feel like i wanna cry. i even tought to just stop liking him

BUT

to my surprise, HE CHANGED MY DAY only with one simple text message

OH GOD.

i even think i can fly right now. KYAAAAAAAAAA!!

oh this is the best. this feeling, i will treasure it forever.

06 February 2010

awwww

it's been a very looooooong time no blogging.
you know what? today i feel so happy.
somebody made my heart beats so fast.
but at the same time, i also feel furious.
she made me furious.
she's jealous. i know. but, well. it's not like she loves him
she said she didn't.
liar

i know you do. just tell me. if you do, then i'll stay away from him
because it's not like i'm in love with him. it's just that i fell KINDA like him
he's so nice to me. and the way he look into my eyes just makes me feel like dying.
today he did it to me.
he looked me in the eyes. and i can feel my face is red-ing. so i just bent my head.
i know that it's never gonna happen. me and him. it's so not gonna happen
he didn't likes me. i know

well, for now i'm glad i can see him everyday
i'm happy whenever he talks to me
i'm happy whenever i see his smile
i'm dying when he looked me in the eyes
i'm jealous when he is with her.

and i'm really happy when she's jealous of me.

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