21 June 2014

Quality Time

I really don't get people.

You see, I finally got into the Architecture Major that I've longed since like, years ago.
And then there's this like Architecture Student Association.
The fact is, getting into an association is a big deal in this place.
I don't mind the orientation, because it's certainly an educational type of orientation.
That is not why I don't why to join them.

The truth is,
I have doubts on myself.
I mean, the only way I can get this far is only because of God. And His decision is never wrong.
But, when I remember the drawings of the rest of my classmates, I was taken aback.
I'm not good at drawing.
And when I saw their drawing, it just hits me.
And now, I actually got into the Architecture Major.
I don't know... I feel so futile, so unimportant.
I mean, I know this is an exaggeration, but I am afraid.

I'm afraid of welcoming yet another change in my life.
What if I didn't do good? What if I'm terrible at it? What if...
And that is one of the reason I don't want to enter the Association.
I think I need to sort things out with myself first
Before I could finally face others with my head held up high.

And anyway~
Since I'm going to be an Architecture student, I bet I wouldn't have that much free time.
I don't know when I'd be able to go back to my lovely home here in Medan.
I don't know when I'd be able to just cuddle in my blankets, watch old movies, watch new tv series, read novels, wake up whenever I want, sleep whenever I want.
I want to cherished this moment as long as I could.
But they don't seem to be able to understand.
Why can't they just leave me alone?
For heaven's sake. Even the seniors told us that it's not an obligatory to join the association.
The hell, bro?

Walaupun lo ketua angkatan, gak usah ngerasa kayak lo bertanggungjawab sama urusan gue.

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