15 March 2010


did i said that yesterday is my last post? yes, i did. i'm sorry but i can't stand it.
today i heard 2 things that made me, well, happy. wait, very happy.
but at the same time, i'm scared.
i'm scared that all of it will be just another lie.
even when i already being told by my bf that i should forget about him, don't make the same mistake twice. BUT this is soo unexpected.
he's asking about me.
and i don't know why, i am so happy.
even though i didn't spoke a word to him
just being told that he's asking about me is enough.
and well, i texted him. told him to get well soon. so lame. yea but he replied thanks.

Today's fact:
  • there's a special reason why i didn't talk to him today. yea, i'm actually kinda j*****s. kinda.
  • i think i still have some feelings toward him. even if it's just a little bit.
  • i'm happy because of him
  • i'm scared because of him
  • he's so cute when he bent down his head. (omg, what did i just write?!)
  • my eyes can't stop searching for him
I guess a few more weeks and I'll be posting that i got heartbroken again by him. haha.
It's no good. I can't stop my heart from beating so fast when i'm near him. oh God. i'm such a dead person. i'm so weak. help me.
i like him

and i don't know what to do. yea, my friends, if you read this, please please please stay quiet. i'm begging you. i know that you guys know who's the person that i like. but let's just keep it as a secret
OUR secret ;)

14 March 2010

I Guess..

so, I have decided. I will not try the test to that High School, yet. I'll try it next year. It's okay. I want to spend some more time here with my friends and my Mom and my lil bro.
and after yesterday's chat, I'm fine :D It turns out like that, and well, I guess it's okay. Thank you again for my MVPs. Love you all.

"I Hate the way you stare at me, those eyes could start a fight"

took it from G Dragon - Heartbreaker english translation. lovin' it. because that is exactly how i felt. I have 14 more days before that seriously-pain-in-the-butt National Exam. And I guess this will be my last post for March. I'll be back on 1st April. Haha.. see you guys then!

13 March 2010

Oh Good God,


Everything is just so wrong. Nothing feels real, nor does it make senses. All this crazy and unexpected things came up so suddenly. I don't want to leave my friends, that's why I need to make a decision, as fast as i can. My Mom asked me what did I want to do. Did I want to stay here in Malaysia, or go back to Indonesia. I don't know. And about another thing, yea, it sucks. Why can't everybody just leave it be? Seriously, we gotta LET IT BE. *Sigh* Why does bad things and unnecessary things keep coming?

"I don't....like this"

That's what i wanted to say. And what i want to do is

Scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my Only One
I let go, but there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one
(Yellowcard - Only One)

I feel like I'm being betrayed
But i don't know why and who.
And the pain is right here in the middle of my heart

11 March 2010

harsh week

dudes, when was the last time i wrote in this blog?
feels like so long time ago. time passed really TIRING. this week is filled with Try Out and it's friends. it's killing me. this passion to update my blog needed to be kept down.
but it's okay tomorrow all of it will be (almost) over.

i haven't post the family pictures yet. because we only got the time to take a pictures today. but my "Grandma" haven't posted it. it's okay, the first thing that i would do after the pictures is being uploaded, is posted it in this lovely blog.

oh God. something came up.like a thunder.suddenly.unexpected.haha..

"어떻게 내가 어떻게 그댈 사랑하게 됐는지 이상하죠"
*Uhttuhke naega uhttuhke geudael saranghage dwaenneunji isanghajyo*
>Why I don't know why, I think I've fallen for you<

I think the translation is not really correct, but yeah, whatever :P

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