Countdown of sort

It's 21.42 right now where I'm writing this post. It's 10th of May.

If anyone reading this know when is my birthday, yes, it is about the end of my teenage years.

It's tomorrow.

And I don't know, back when I was like 17, I read this post my cousin wrote about the unimportant worry of being 'old' and I thought, 'hell yea, it's not something to be afraid of.'

But

It is different when you're the one experiencing it.

I thought I'm ready.

I thought I can face this upcoming birthday head on, you know...

but I don't.

I'm scared.

I don't know if I'm going to make the right decisions in my life or if I would still be as immature and dependent as I am right now.

I don't know how I am going to cope with adulthood with my very, very, laid back personality -- my nonchalant ways of living.

I am genuinely horrified of what's going to happen.

You would think that because of my nonchalant persona i would not worry about this--this shifting in my self. but I do, I really do.

I have never embraced changes my whole life. no. well, most of the times.

and this it the first time I won't be celebrating it with my family. It's something very big for me.

Made me realised, 'the first of how many?'

Face the truth, we all are going to go our separate ways in the end. so, like, maybe this is the beginning of the intersection.

And I better stop myself right now before the fear sinks in to my body

Architecture Student

Greetings humans!
So after I got in to my dream major and dream university, I started my first week as an Architecture student.
Unlike any other SANE universities, we entered our major on our 2nd year. The 1st year is basically "High School: One Last Time".

Anyway....

As being said, about three days before the new term started, we need to meet our 'caretaker', I have no idea what's the word for a-lecturer-that's-in-charge-of-you-for-the-whole-year so let's just call it a caretaker for now.
There're 20ish of us under the guidance of our caretaker.
So he gave us plenty of advice and some stories about what's gonna happen with us from that moment on.
And at some point, what he said really struck me.
I don't quite remember the exact words, but the bottom line is something like this:

"From now on, you guys WILL be not normal."

"Why? Because you're going to be an architect."

At first I was like, "exaggerating much?". But, boy, I've never been so wrong in my life....

My first day as an AR student:

We got in at 7 AM, went to a class full of 100ish students, got divided into group, had some briefing.

And then we went out at around 10 or 11 to a certain place we've been assigned to. 

Take measurement of the building, sketch it, went back to the studio, and...f-ing draw that shit.

We need to make the floor plan, perspective drawing of the building, and some other stuff I don't even understand. And then there's one more class which is pretty................boring good. It's pretty good.

:)

2nd day, couldn't get any worse right?

Wrong.

First class start at 7, at the end of the class we got a task which is to read a chapter 2 of a certain book and make a resume of it.

And then we head back to the studio and start to at least draw a line on a piece of paper.

The last class, at 1PM, split us into yet another group and the assignment is to find a building, appreciate it by making a report out of it and also interview the architect.

Awesome, just awesome.

3rd day, which is today is not getting any easier.

Yet the same old 7AM, we got into class (the same class every single day.) and then got into another group. Assignment: design a gazebo. Make a floor plan of it and then build its scale model with a material of wood AND bamboo.

During the short (actually it's three and a half hour) introduction class, we got shoved on some AMAZING physics stuffs, LOTS of terms on building construction. And we need to apply it on our scale model.

AWESOME. JUST AWESOME.

Tomorrow will be the fourth day.........of yet another day at the studio and its surroundings.

I really don't go out that much dude,

Becoming more unsocialable than I already am.

I have to do those mountain of shi-- assignments......

Okay......

Good bye, world......

Hope

When was the last time I bought a romance novel?

Probably 5 or 6 years ago.

That was then.

Now is this.

When I saw this- this stack of papers glued on that yellow paper, I fell in love (if you could actually fall in love with a book).
Anyway, maybe it's the yellow colour or maybe it's the writing on the cover.

'A heartwarming everyday tale of boy stalks girl...'

You see, that particular word I tilted was the word that caught my attention most. It kinda hit me.

Not because I'm a stalker, oh gosh, no. Though in some particular ways I probably am.

Not the kind of creepy stalker following you everywhere you go.

Just, you know, the 'normal' stuffs. Like I'll search for my crush's profile on Facebook and would or would not look around their photos (depends on the relationship status, really).

But, moving on. I'm not the kind of person that just buy a book- a novel- a romance novel just because of the cover.

I flipped it over and read the synopsis. Now we're talking about some insight.

There's something, in those words (probably) carefully chosen and (cautiously) arranged that... that made me feel something in my stomach.

Anyway, after 7 months being a part of my bookcase, I finally found a courage to read it.

Seriously, I cannot put this book down. I would've finished it in a night except that my mother saw me still awake at around 3 AM and told me to go to sleep.

I think in some ways, I could really relate to this particular book. Though the main character is a 30s years old man, with a moderate job, and some crazy friends.

His pessimistic side is really the part that I could relate to.

"Sometimes I look at myself and think, Is this it?, and then I think, Yes, it is. This is literally the best you will ever look."

But this novel gives you hope, trust me.

It will make you feel summat.

It will make you feel, this is it; no matter what 'this' is.

Or at least I hope you do.

Cause I do.

Yeah, sure, I'd probably went back to my usual unmotivated self in around three days, but, hey, it's better than naught.

Even until you're in the last 50 pages of the novel, you might think: where the bloody hell is the 'hope'?

Trust me, there will be a hope. Just keep reading it.

This novel is not boring. At. All.

And that means a lot coming from me, a maniac for detective and mystery novels.

It's confusing at first, at least I'm confused.

And it's freaking written in British. You know, Londoners slangs. I don't understand most of it. But, I tried my best (Thus why my writing in this post tend to be a little British, sorry. The effect doesn't wear off that fast).

Anyhow, this really is a heartwarming story.

The one that made you let out a big sigh after turning that last page.

The one that made you hope again.

To relationship, to your work, to your best friends, to your self.

Well, before I start acting British again, I'll end it here.

Cheers, mate.

Kecewa

Pernah tidak sih kalian merasa kecewa? Saya yakin pernah.
Kecewa karena nilai, kecewa karena keluarga, kecewa karena diri sendiri, kecewa karena teman.

Beberapa hari ini saya sangat kecewa pada teman dekat saya.

Alasannya tak lain dan tak bukan adalah karena pilpres 2014 besok ini.

Saya tahu, orang - orang mengatakan kita harus bisa menerima pandangan orang yang berbeda dari kita. Tapi kalau sahabat saya sendiri seperti itu, saya merasa berat sekali untuk menerimanya.

Ia tinggal di lingkungan keberagaman, saya tahu itu. Ia memiliki keluarga yang tidak beragama sama degannya. Ia memiliki teman - teman dari berbagai etnis dan agama.

Oleh sebab itu saya sangat kecewa pada pilihannya. Bagaimana mungkin dia memilih seseorang yang telah menorehkan luka yang sangat dalam pada negeri ini di tahun 1998?

Bagaimana mungkin dia masih bisa membela orang tersebut dengan mengatakan beliau hanya menuruti perintah.

Apakah beliau menuruti perintah?
Saya hanya berharap teman saya dapat mencari informasi lebih banyak sebelum berbicara.
Tahukah dia bahwa kata - kata yang sudah diucapkan tidak akan dapat di tarik kembali?

Kasus penculikan 1998 belum selesai. Prabowo belum dinyatakan bersalah atau tidak bersalah oleh pengadilan karena pengadilan untuk kasus ini tidak kunjung dilakukan. Sejak 1998, 3 lembaga negara antara lain Dewan Kehormatan Perwira (DKP), Tim Ad Hoc Komnas HAM, dan Tim Gabungan Pencari Fakta, sudah melakukan penyelidikan dan menemukan keterlibatan Prabowo dalam kasus penculikan 1998 tersebut. Dalam penyelidikannya, tahun 2005-2006 Tim Ad Hoc Komnas HAM memanggil Prabowo untuk bersaksi, namun ia mangkir tak pernah memenuhi panggilan. Tahun 2006, dibantu DPR, Komnas HAM mengajukan pengadilan kasus ini ke Jaksa Agung. Namun hingga detik ini, pengadilan kasus ini belum juga disetujui. Jadi sekali lagi, belum ada pengadilan untuk kasus ini. Maka belum ada kejelasan hukum mengenai status Prabowo bersalah atau tidak bersalah. (Source: here)

Untuk informasi lebih lanjut, silahkan di sini dan ini

Saya jujur sangat kecewa dengan keputusan teman saya tersebut. I thought she's better than this.

Ternyata dia juga bisa termakan dengan isu-isu isapan jempol yang di sebarkan untuk menurukan citra Pak Joko Widodo.

Ternyata dia munafik.

Saya kira dia peduli dengan keberagaman

Saya kira dia mengerti bagaimana rasanya harus malu terhadap warna kulit karena disangka bukan orang Indonesia

Saya kira dia mengerti bahwa orang - orang ingin bisa bebas beribadah tanpa rasa takut

Ternyata dia juga sama fanatiknya dengan orang - orang yang bisa dengan gampang disulut api kebencian yang mengatasnamakan agama.

Saya percaya dengan pernyataan bahwa 'orang baik akan menarik orang baik disekitarnya'

Sekarang saya tidak begitu yakin lagi dengan penilaian saya sendiri.

Dia mengatakan sebaiknya kita membicarakan tentang hal - hal baik dan bukannya menjelek-jelekkan calon lain yang tidak kita pilih.

Lah? Apa dirimu lupa mengatakan pada teman kita bahwa kamu tidak memilih Pak Jokowi karena engkau menganggap dia jahat?

Lalu mengapa aku tidak bisa beranggapan sama?

Tapi baiklah, kalau engkau menginginkan kebaikan, ini kebaikan:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Should I go on?

#salamduajari

Quality Time

I really don't get people.

You see, I finally got into the Architecture Major that I've longed since like, years ago.
And then there's this like Architecture Student Association.
The fact is, getting into an association is a big deal in this place.
I don't mind the orientation, because it's certainly an educational type of orientation.
That is not why I don't why to join them.

The truth is,
I have doubts on myself.
I mean, the only way I can get this far is only because of God. And His decision is never wrong.
But, when I remember the drawings of the rest of my classmates, I was taken aback.
I'm not good at drawing.
And when I saw their drawing, it just hits me.
And now, I actually got into the Architecture Major.
I don't know... I feel so futile, so unimportant.
I mean, I know this is an exaggeration, but I am afraid.

I'm afraid of welcoming yet another change in my life.
What if I didn't do good? What if I'm terrible at it? What if...
And that is one of the reason I don't want to enter the Association.
I think I need to sort things out with myself first
Before I could finally face others with my head held up high.

And anyway~
Since I'm going to be an Architecture student, I bet I wouldn't have that much free time.
I don't know when I'd be able to go back to my lovely home here in Medan.
I don't know when I'd be able to just cuddle in my blankets, watch old movies, watch new tv series, read novels, wake up whenever I want, sleep whenever I want.
I want to cherished this moment as long as I could.
But they don't seem to be able to understand.
Why can't they just leave me alone?
For heaven's sake. Even the seniors told us that it's not an obligatory to join the association.
The hell, bro?







Walaupun lo ketua angkatan, gak usah ngerasa kayak lo bertanggungjawab sama urusan gue.

Okay, to be honest

I just finished watching How I Met Your Mother. I mean, like, finished it for good.
The last time I watched it, I stopped at the 17th episode because I know it's ending and I'm just not ready for the ending.
But before I could finished it, two people have spoiled the ending for me.
One person told me that the mother is, well, going to die.
and the other person told me that Barney and Robin didn't ends up together.

But, you know, when I watched it, I cried and laughed and so I still think that it is an epic TV series.

Some people said that they're disappointed for the ending.
But, I don't know. To me, it's pretty cool.
I mean, I know how the movie should be about how Ted met his wife...
But real life isn't like a fairytale. You didn't meet the one and have a happily ever after. Life goes on. And sometimes, life sucks.
And I guess deep down inside we know that Ted has always love Robin. I guess what Robin said is right. She needs to marry someone that will get through everything to make her happy. And of course it was heartbreaking to see her and Barney got divorced, but Barney ended up to be a better person. He ends up as a father, one thing that he can't be by being with Robin.

There are lots of way to  move on with our lives, but time really is the best cure.
When Ted brought that blue horn to Robin's apartment (again), to me it's the most perfect ending you could ever get.
Cheers.

Goodbye. Sayonara. Au Revoir. Auf Wiedersehen. Antío. Arrivederci. Elveda. Selamat Tinggal.

First of all, pardon the title. I haven't post anything since March so I'm in a hyper mode.

I know, I know, this is my first post after 2 months and why can't it be more cheerful?

Well, in my defence, almost none of my post aren't depressing :)))

Tomorrow I'm going home to Medan (this is not a sad part of this post).

It's been around a month since the last time I saw my room.

Anyway, I'm excited about going back home.

What I'm sad about is this:

My first year in my campus is coming to an end.

Our campus has a different view on how their students should spent their first year.

At first I was pissed.

I mean, how could they do this to us?

How could they made us review all the things that we've learned on our high school years. How could they? After all those days I spent deleting even the slightest bit of memory I have about Physics, Math, and most importantly, Chemistry.

I hated the syllabus.

But when it comes to an end, you finally could look at the whole picture and realised the reason behind all of those endless night and day learning those beautifully torturing subjects.

I realised it when one of my classmate hugs me today.

She said, "Please don't forget about me."

And then it hit me.

I really won't be seeing some of them next semester. I mean, not as much as I used to.

Next semester some of us are going to be in the Planology dept. while some of us (including me, hopefully) will be taking the Architecture major.

I can't see them five days a week anymore. I won't be signing my attendance under their names anymore. I won't get to sit beside them anymore.
I realised that if it isn't about this kind of syllabus I probably wouldn't meet all these amazing people. I am not an anti-social, I just think of it as too much of a bother to interact with another human being. So, I know, if it weren't for this, I might not have these many friends as I have now.
I might probably stressing about some project, some task, some test by myself.
My life would have been completely different.

When I first entered this campus, I really try hard to fit in. I mean, after all of my hard work blending in to the environment in Medan, I need to get back to (almost the same as) my JHS environment.

I have always been an awkward person, an ignorant kid, and mostly most of the time sarcastic.

I thought I never going to have any, well, friends. Of course that was an exaggeration, but, really that's how I felt.

And now, looking back to these ten months, I realised there are a lot of people that have touched my life.

Last Sunday we had our so-called Final Project and at the end of the event we watched these videos made by our friend about, well, i guess it's about all of us.

I couldn't see a thing :)) and I guess that's one of the reason I didn't feel anything watching those videos.

What made me really sad is, I don't know what will happen to us. I am not the most social and easy-going person to deal with, but I am very thankful to those that stay as my friend till the end of this year.

Thanks for the memories guys.

I'll try my best to keep in touch with you guys.