03 November 2012

Mostly me

Tonight i'd like to post something that might be quite self-centered (well, it is my blog so....)
I just passed a hectic week of exam.
If you're wondering, the result will be horrible. Perfect disaster.
But still, not the end of the world, so i'm cool with it.

Gw orangnya bukan ga peduli jg sih..
Kalo mikir tentang masa depan, siapa sih yg ga takut?
Masalah nilai sekolah, UN, masuk kuliah, dll, dsb, dkk.
Tapi gw memang orangnya cukup tau aja..
Maksudnya gini,
Klo misalnya bsk ujian nih, dan gw ga belajar krn ga ada mood. Trus bsknya gw ga bs ngerjain, ya gw pertama sekali emang pasti bakal nyalahin diri sendiri knp ga belajar. Tp abis itu? Ya gw santai aja.. Nilainya merah, biru, hijau, ya udah..
Kalo gw belajar, tapi tetep ga bs juga, ya pasrah aja.. Ketawa ajaaa

Mungkin krn sikap gw yg terlalu membawa santai semua ini, kadang gw bs dianggap... Apa ya, kurang serius kali ya. Dan kadang kalo org curhat sama gw, atau lg mencak2 sama org lain, trs cerita ke gw, yg pasti gw bilang itu "ya... jd gmn ya...." Kalo misalnya di chat palingan gw bilang "wkwkwkwk"
Bukan berarti gw ga serius dan sama sekali bukan krn gw ngetawain, tp emang gt cara gw melihat semuanya.. Jangan dibawa ribet.

And i'm also a VERY moody person. Some of you as my friends might already experienced this, and some of you might haven't. 
The truth is, once my mood is ruined, you need to step away.
Like, seriously. Don't even bother to ask me what's wrong, cause everything will be wrong at that time.
I think i've hurt people's feelings because of this... So,
I just want everyone that matters to me, to just leave me be.
Once my mood has cooled down, i'll be sure to go back to the way i used to.
This kind of mood changes will happen a lot. It won't be the last time i was acting like such a jerk.
And i just want you to think about it thoroughly.
If and only if you're sure you could handle being ignored by me for maybe one or two days, then sure, let's be friends.
But if you don't, you should probably stay away from me.

To qoute from tumblr: i'm not anti-social, i'm just pro-me

Aaaaaannndd this is totally random, 
But it's nice to have friends that still accept me after i'm acting like such an assholeeeeeee

I also have this random feeling offf~ wanting to fall in love.,
Maybe it's because i just finished reading this comic, a very good one.. About love.
Buttt then again, if i fall in love, it wouldn't work :))))
Not this time, not next year, not ever.
I'm awkward.
I need months to feel "okay" and another monthss to feel "comfortable"
I'm a coward, i can't start a conversation, i'm not the easiest person to get along with.
I do want to change, i want to be less awkward and all...
But i just think that i've ran out of chances.. Well at least for this year.

I'm just quite uncertain of what to do,
There are times when i feel like everything is beautiful and i want to fall in love and be happy.
But there are also times when i lose faith on love.
It's just that, i ain't seeing people falling in love because of personalities.
I ain't seeing guys that would take time to notice an almost invisible girl like me.
I ain't seeing guys that would take time to get to know a girl, taking it easy, and then shyly confess to the girl he's been liking since forever.
i ain't seein any of this. the reality is: if you're not pretty, then you're nobody.
don't try to say that it's not true, cause that's my reality.
nobody ever convinced me the other way.

of course, me not taking any actions when i'm in love might be one ot the factors too.
but dude, seriously. i'm kind of like an old-fashioned-minded person.
for me, the most important thing is for the person i love to notice my existence.
if he, well, have feelings, he should be the one who starts the conversation.

and that's why my love life is going nowhere.
oh well..

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