19 December 2015

People (人)

Was it two days ago? Ah, no, it was three days ago.

It was a peaceful daily day for others, but, well at least to me it was hell.

I only had one hour sleep that day (and that was because i forced myself to sleep).

Yeah, it was the deadline for our final project this semester. F-ing architecture school.

Anyway, that's not what I want to talk about. After I finished with the presentation (don't ask me how it went) and other stuffs, I went to get lunch with my friend.

It's been a while since we ate together even though our desks in studio are just back to back.

Before long, another friend of us showed up. She ended up joining us for talk after lunch.

We talked from the most trivial thing to somewhat more personal stuffs.

I... always remind myself not to be a judgemental person. Mostly because I hate being judged. That's why this is not a judgemental post. I just... found out more about my friends.

I don't know if this has been known but I prefer to be a background person. Like, seriously. I don't mind not being acknowledge by the people I don't care about. Whatever people I don't know think about me, I honestly don't mind.

So our conversation that day ended up to a direction I'm not too comfortable about.

My two friends are talking about their reaction when people do bad or unpleasant stuff to them.

I don't really...

Okay, anyway they said when somebody did something bad to them, they would make those people pay, the same amount of 'pain' or more. My friends said they absolutely won't settle for less. And then they added that they feel some kind of satisfactory when they get their 'revenge'.

I never said I'm a kind person, nope. I'm just indifferent.

I don't care if somebody did something bad to me, because most probably I don't care about that person.

So I was kinda taken aback with what my friends said...

I... used to be pissed whenever my mom could still be so kind when our relatives treat her wrong. But now, I think I could actually say to my past self that I was such a kid.

Was it age talking (omg, I'm not even that old), or was it because my mom really did a great job raising me, or was it because God's words finally come to my consciousness, like I would know something like that...

It's just once again I'm bewildered by the nature of some people.

I never understand the point of revenge. Whenever I got pissed, it'll be washed away after I fell asleep.

You're wasting your energy for stuffs like revenge. Rather than that, wouldn't it be better to focus on improving yourself? Your parents raised you to at least be a decent human being.

I have tons of aspects in my life I need to improve on. For the time being, I myself can't be sure whether I'm a decent human being or not.

I don't have time for people I don't care.

That's just that.

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