Some Honesty

This is my first post in 2014. The second day of March. And the third Month of 2014.

So let's have this post filled with truth and frankness.

My new friends suck. Okay, maybe that's too mean. What I'm trying to say is that I don't find myself comfortable with them. Not even for a second.

They don't trust their friends, they can't keep their promises, they're hypocrite and most of all, their sense of humour sucks big time.

I tell mean jokes to my best friends, and even if I did, I know where the boundaries are. I don't fu*king make fun of something personal.

Let me just tell you what happened. I am a freaking huge fan of Keane, and they freaking know it. But when I was scribbling this lyric from Keane, a 'friend' asked me "Keane isn't dead yet?" and i fucking can't understand what does she mean by asking that.

Did she find it hilarious? did she think it wasn't such a big deal? did she fucking think at all?

i did said it's nothing when she apologised about it, but ever since that second, i know damn well that i can't be friends with her.

if i force it, i will definitely explode like a fcking Sinabung Mountain that just erupted.

i just can't understand why.

people keep saying to me that i shouldn't be such unsocialised, i shouldn't be so introverted. but please tell me that once people start having common sense again.

tell me to socialise again once people don't just think for themselves.

tell me to socialise again if people could be trusted again.

because i don't need people with no common sense.

i could compromise their sense of music. i could compromise their lack of decency to show up in time. hell, i could even compromise their arrogance. but please just have a common sense.

the only time i could actually laugh in bandung (except when i'm on tumblr) is when i'm with my best friends back in high school. i really don't know what would happen to me if i don't have them here. i could certainly stop believing in people.

i could relate with them about almost everything. and when we can't relate to some things we just laugh it off and forget about it.

these past few weeks i've been seeing ciripah almost every weekend and that's why i realise i can't take any more than this with my so-called friends.

i could definitely still talk with them but that's all i could give, dude.

i would still be nice. because me being nice means i don't want to get any closer with you. if i want to be close with you i would speak to you in sarcastic language and tell mean jokes.

my friend said maybe i just haven't found the people that i could relate too. maybe i'm not trying hard enough to find people like my best friends. but honestly,

i don't know if i'm not looking close enough or am i looking too far.