well,

I've just heard Julian Casablancas - 11th Dimension song.
and there's a tiny part of the lyric that makes me realized what should I do

"Forgive them even if they're not sorry"

that's absolutely what I want to do right now.

no matter how many bad things they talked about me
I'll try. because I have my friends behind me and God in front of me.
the clock is ticking, can't waste anymore time

and I hope all of my friends will forgive all my selfishness in this blog.
thank you for your concern, your care, your patient, your love.
if something that i wrote here hurt you guys, I'm sorry.
trust me, I never and will never hate you guys.
that kind of thinking never even crossed my mind.
even "him" that i don't like anymore only got to "the people i don't like" list.

I NEVER HATE ANYONE.

no matter what they did to me, or what he did, or what she did, never affect me to hating them.
I'll think about the positive.

because i still have you

CONGRATULATION

you have just made yourself ranked 1 in my "the people i don't like" list.
you sucks. i don't even know why i ever THINK that i like you.
how can a guy act like a girl? s-t-u-p-i-d.
i don't hate you. no. but i REALLY REALLY REALLY don't like you.
go to hell. i don't even want to talk to you. even seeing you grossed me out.

and YOU too. you. the people i think I'm close with. i don't wanna hate you. so, I'll forgive you. but i can't promise that I will act the same like before. it's hurting me really deep down inside.

but, "you" made me smile today. you are so nice to me. and you guys cheer me up. thank you so much. and last but not least, another you. thank you thank you thank you. i don't know what else to say. i never even thought that you will sit with me. but you did. it's not that i like you. but i don't hate you. of course i don't. and you are so cute today :)

people, what i wanna say today is: never really believe in someone. you might have a lot of friend. and a people that you like. and the people that you look up to. but, only a few IS a true friend, true caring friend, true love, and a true people that you should look up to.

good luck with whatever you did today :D

noo :(

he forgot.
well it's not like i'm somebody who's so important to him that he will remember.
but, still.. after what happen yesterday.. it's kinda sad.

i need to stop waiting for him. and i need to forget it. maybe he just giving me a bullshit hope. he will never like me, dude.

T_T

OMG.

Oh my fellow blogger, today on my way back home i really feel furious with that girl. and i'm jealous. and i feel like i wanna cry. i even tought to just stop liking him

BUT

to my surprise, HE CHANGED MY DAY only with one simple text message

OH GOD.

i even think i can fly right now. KYAAAAAAAAAA!!

oh this is the best. this feeling, i will treasure it forever.

awwww

it's been a very looooooong time no blogging.
you know what? today i feel so happy.
somebody made my heart beats so fast.
but at the same time, i also feel furious.
she made me furious.
she's jealous. i know. but, well. it's not like she loves him
she said she didn't.
liar

i know you do. just tell me. if you do, then i'll stay away from him
because it's not like i'm in love with him. it's just that i fell KINDA like him
he's so nice to me. and the way he look into my eyes just makes me feel like dying.
today he did it to me.
he looked me in the eyes. and i can feel my face is red-ing. so i just bent my head.
i know that it's never gonna happen. me and him. it's so not gonna happen
he didn't likes me. i know

well, for now i'm glad i can see him everyday
i'm happy whenever he talks to me
i'm happy whenever i see his smile
i'm dying when he looked me in the eyes
i'm jealous when he is with her.

and i'm really happy when she's jealous of me.

COMPLICATION

stupid friends.
hypocrite best friends.
uncertain decision.
unspecific farewell party.

aaaaaaaaah... this is CRAZY

just put an end to this.

Goodbye

i really want to say this word today:

"I'm outta Ilegall Fam. Thanks to all my "friends". i had a good, great, funny, and sad times. love you all :)"

that's all.